This is personal, you can freely ignore it.

Over the last week and a half, I’ve really disconnected myself from a lot of things, I mean I’m hardly posting on my tumblr, writing hardly interests me, I’ve stopped talking to a lot of people. All because I live in my own head far too much for my own good. I go to work, I come home and I just sit around and think and think, and do more thinking.

The one thing that I can never disconnect myself from is music, doesn’t matter what mood I’m in I always have some music playing in the background and music is something that is in my life on a daily basis. Doesn’t matter what type, music is just something I seek comfort in. It’s the thing that I can let go and cry to, scream to, sing to and I won’t be talked down to, or made to feel stupid for doing so.

I have 5 sanity bands, and by sanity bands I mean I go to them when I feel really fucked up, those bands are as follows: Brand New, Destroy Rebuild Until God Shows, 30 Seconds To Mars, Glassjaw, and La Dispute. Those are the bands I lean on when my mental world is falling apart.

But there’s just one band I’m gonna talk about right now because honestly I’m unnerved and worried. Some of you know I talk about one of my best friends a lot, her name is Faith (tonights-thelast) and she’s part of the Echelon, and she’s the main reason the last year of my life has been so heavily dipped into 30 Seconds To Mars, she’s the main reason I can call them a sanity band and that I can call myself an Echelon now, even if it still makes me nervous cause I don’t want people to think I’m doing it to be cool? Whatever, that probably makes no sense but what’s scaring me right now is Faith, someone who has been in the Echelon since day 1 really, someone that’s followed the band and everything, someone that has tattoos dedicated to the band that I know has saved her countless times, wants out of the Echelon. It’s scary, for me to sit back and watch it happen and it won’t make sense to anyone that doesn’t know her, or that isn’t part of the Echelon. But watching the person that inspired you, that made you realize how beautiful Mars is as a band, how beautiful the Echelon is as a family- want out of it? I’m scared. For her, because I know what Jared, Shannon and Tomo mean to her, I know what Mars means to her, and I know what the Echelon means to her and I don’t want her to give that up. Ever.